I think that I have a wonderful life. My husband is amazing, I have a great family, caring friends, and I have never enjoyed a job so much. I know in my head that I personally could never ask for more than what I have right now.
However, it seems my heart just can’t get on with the program sometimes. The anxiety I feel at times can mimic depression, although, it is very different from depression. I can visually see all the great things I have and I know that my life is indeed good, but I don’t feel good. I don’t expect other people to understand why or how I feel the way that I do, because honestly I don’t understand it myself. Maybe, if I did understand it then I could fix it…
I am not an optimist, I try to see the bright side of things, but I am also aware of the shadows along the way. I have been feeling very shadowed lately, I am watching people that I care about in situations that are completely unfair to them and it breaks my heart. The pain that they are going through, I can do nothing to alleviate it. I try to be as helpful as I can, but sometimes I have nothing to give and I wish that I did.
What I have to remember is that to be the best friend or family member I can be, is to focus on me first. I have to take care of myself, before I can properly begin to help others. Everyone’s world does not revolve around me or you, but my world must revolve around me and yours should revolve around you. One thing that I must always remember is that it is okay to not be okay, but eventually, It’s going to be okay!